I can see it now. Waking up as light floods the Airstream, or my daughter climbs into bed with us, whichever comes first, stretching and moving towards the french press. Folding up the sofa bed and pushing open the Airstream door, feeling a rush of fresh air and pure morning light as I step out into nature in my pajamas. I see sipping my steaming coffee as Magnolia rushes to begin playing in the outdoors. I grab a sweater for the cool morning air, and then I'm playing with Magnolia, stretching, praying, planning the day. I can see it now. And it looks like peace. It looks like being in the moment. It looks like slowing down, feeling well, living.
I stop myself. That WILL be great. But what about right now? I realize I am living for the future and merely enduring the now. Something that Aaron and I often say to each other when we find ourselves looking to some kind of future plan as our salvation, is "Do you know what its going to feel like when we reach x,y,z ?" ... "Like this." Meaning that life has a way of always just feeling like life. Its easy to think something like "everything would be different if I could just.. (make more money, have a better job, have a partner, live in an airstream, or whatever it is that you are looking forward to)". But the truth is while accomplishing a goal CAN change things, and make you feel better for a while, for the most part, you will still feel like you, life will still feel like life, with its ups and downs. There will be new challenges presented even by this new wonderful thing. This is not to say don't go after anything but it is to say, if you cannot be at peace right now, don't expect an accomplishment to create that for you. Your ability to be at peace, be happy, live in the moment, ect. will be exactly what it is now.
With this understanding, we've been challenging ourselves as we work on the Airstream and set up all the details of the tour, to fully embrace where we are now. This moment is all we have. So, even with all of the elements at play that are potential stress-producers (and successful stress-producers I have to admit), we are trying to experience the same in-the-moment, peace that I imagine myself experiencing as I step down from the Airstream in the early morning light, smelling the beautiful fresh air laced with the must of last night's fire.
These pictures of from our trip to Los Angeles this summer :)