happiness

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year my friends!  There were sure a lot of inspiration quotes on Instagram today.  And I am sappy enough to love every bit of them.  New beginnings and hopeful perspectives, wondering what this year holds and letting 2015 fly away.  Like this T.S. Elliot quote:  

image.jpg

It really is a beautiful opportunity the let old things pass away and start afresh.  And let me say-  get your hopes up.  Expect good things!   Open your eyes, ears, and heart to the beauty of the present moment, focus on good things, remind yourself of what you are thankful for, and know that whether this year brings challenges or triumphs, it is a brilliant chance to grow and learn.  So much love and blessing on you and yours in 2016, from your friends Pilgrim.  

xoxo

 

image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg

image.jpg

I'm writing this from a little market in Austin, TX. as I drink a kombucha and watch the cars pass on the other side of the window.  I set my drink down on a copy of the Austin Chronicle and smile while Lana Del Ray serenades me through little white ear buds.  My whole body is tingling with an aliveness and sense of victory that, if it were to break through the surface of my calm and publicly appropriate demeanor, would probably reveal itself as the most atrocious football style victory dance or at least high pitched screaming laughter.  Possibly both.  But it remains a buzz pulsating through each individual nerve, lighting up my insides.  I bask in the feeling as if it were a spiritual spa.  I bathe in each sensation with utter satisfaction.  The occasion?  We did it.  After months and months of literal blood, sweat and tears, there is a palpable sense that we've broken through.  A simple transition, as if walking through an invisible veil.  But I don't need my eyes to tell me I've made it.  We are staying in our renovated vintage airstream trailer in an rv park downtown Austin, in a beautiful and fun area.  The air conditioning is finally working in the trailer.  We're fully moved in.  This is our home.  And now, it feels like home.  We've painted, decorated, organized.  We've played a good number of house shows so far and they've been amazing.  All of the sudden everything feels right.  I know now that every time I decided not to give up, it was because I knew I'd get here eventually.  We closed our eyes and jumped into the arms of faith so many times.  We pushed ourselves to live with our hands wide open.  Giving, receiving, flowing, believing.  Believing in everything we hoped would hold weight.  And now, we are victorious.  We are airborne on the winds of love itself.  Even as I try and describe the circumstances that surround this breakthrough I realize that if you look at those alone you may miss what I trying to express to you.  It's deeper, the victory is actually unseen.  It's impossible to describe really.  It's about presence. It's about breathing in the fullness of life, over and over.  It's that I believed something I was told about life, and love, and dreams, and hope.  And it turned out to be true.  

Believe.  Not just in things you desire, but in LIFE.  Life is meant to be incredible and dynamic.  The challenges and victories are the riches.  The letting go is the portal.  The openness and the surrender are the keys.  Ask and you shall receive.  Ask for life.  Ask for the fullness.  Then believe, embrace what comes, and push for the breakthrough.  

image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg

Present Tense

I can see it now.  Waking up as light floods the Airstream, or my daughter climbs into bed with us, whichever comes first, stretching and moving towards the french press.  Folding up the sofa bed and pushing open the Airstream door, feeling a rush of fresh air and pure morning light as I step out into nature in my pajamas.  I see sipping my steaming coffee as Magnolia rushes to begin playing in the outdoors.  I grab a sweater for the cool morning air, and then I'm playing with Magnolia, stretching, praying, planning the day.  I can see it now.  And it looks like peace.  It looks like being in the moment.  It looks like slowing down, feeling well, living. I stop myself.  That WILL be great.  But what about right now?  I realize I am living for the future and merely enduring the now.  Something that Aaron and I often say to each other when we find ourselves looking to some kind of future plan as our salvation, is "Do you know what its going to feel like when we reach x,y,z ?" ...  "Like this."  Meaning that life has a way of always just feeling like life.  Its easy to think something like "everything would be different if I could just.. (make more money, have a better job, have a partner, live in an airstream, or whatever it is that you are looking forward to)".  But the truth is while accomplishing a goal CAN change things, and make you feel better for a while, for the most part, you will still feel like you, life will still feel like life, with its ups and downs.  There will be new challenges presented even by this new wonderful thing.  This is not to say don't go after anything but it is to say, if you cannot be at peace right now, don't expect an accomplishment to create that for you.  Your ability to be at peace, be happy, live in the moment, ect. will be exactly what it is now.

With this understanding, we've been challenging ourselves as we work on the Airstream and set up all the details of the tour, to fully embrace where we are now.  This moment is all we have.  So, even with all of the elements at play that are potential stress-producers (and successful stress-producers I have to admit), we are trying to experience the same in-the-moment, peace that I imagine myself experiencing as I step down from the Airstream in the early morning light, smelling the beautiful fresh air laced with the must of last night's fire.

_MG_0801-2 _MG_0814-2 _MG_0816-2 _MG_0774-2_MG_0819-2 _MG_0824-2  _MG_0780-2

_MG_0851-2 _MG_0853-2 _MG_0854-2 _MG_0897

_MG_0915 _MG_0917 _MG_0918 _MG_0775-2

_MG_0909 _MG_0910 _MG_0914

These pictures of from our trip to Los Angeles this summer :)